The
ShatterColors
Standard Interview
-- Editor Version:
Robert
Scott Leyse
(Interview
consists of 14
pre-set questions.
Editors maintain
a literary Website.)
Update
8/30/09: So a
friend calls me
up, laughing,
and informs me
that one mentally
deficient Sean
Aden Lovelace
has taken serious
umbrage to my
response to question
# 10 below, and
posted a semi-intelligible
rant on his blog:
please scroll
down to question
# 10 to read my
response to LovDunce.
1)
As an editor what
are your primary
criteria for acceptance
of work?
Stylistic
individuality,
with a focus on
emotion mirrored
by the style.
Must also exhibit
a logical progression
of the narrative
line and carry
the reader emotionally,
as opposed to
burdening with
overmuch description
of the scenery.
Characters must
emotionally engage
one another, or
vibrantly interact
with themselves.
Other
things I like
(but are not necessary
for acceptance)
are 1) mystical/religious
turns of thought,
2) love stories,
at whatever stage
of a relationship,
3) invective that's
playful instead
of bitter, and
4) laughs -- whether
they're subtle
chuckles or shout-out-loud
belly-massages.
Things
I detest (and
will immediately
stop me from reading)
are 1) preachy
political agenda
pieces/anything
that reeks of
"activism,"
2) pop-culture-reference
saturated pieces,
and 3) simpering
sentimental slop.
2)
How important
are cover letters
to you?
It makes no difference
to me what an
author does or
does not put in
a cover letter,
or if an author
bothers to enclose
one. The only
thing that matters
is the submitted
work.
3)
Do you ever feel
compelled to comment
on work you've
declined?
On
rare occasions,
I'll receive a
very good story
that doesn't fit
our needs. This
is generally because
the author has
chosen to extensively
explain something
pertaining to
the setting or
an activity that
the characters
are engaged in,
such that it comes
across as semi-fiction.
There was a story
centered around
surf fishing -
very well written,
but too informative
about surf fishing
to suit me: I'm
interested in
interaction between
people, not interaction
between people
and activities.
So I told the
author why we
didn't want it
even though it
was very good.
I've since found
out he's had it
accepted by a
sporting magazine,
as it well should
be.
As
a general rule,
though, I don't
have the time
to comment on
stories I've declined
to accept; nor
would I be qualified
to do so, since
I seldom -- only
in rare instances
such as those
above -- read
more than two
or three paragraphs
of them.
4)
Is there something
of a theme that
runs through your
Site?
To
quote the "About"
page: if The Shattercolors
Literary Review
has a mission
aside from the
obvious one of
publishing good
writing, then
it's 1) to promote
vividness of emotion
in literary endeavors,
and 2) to demonstrate
that "literary"
and "entertainment,"
far from being
at crossroads
with one another,
are essential
to one another.
5)
What's your take
on politics and
literary endeavor?
Literature
should exist by
and for itself
-- be a world
of emotion, conflict,
captivation, illumination,
escape unto itself
-- with no political
dependency whatsoever.
I don't give a
dead horse's ass
what authors'
political convictions
are, as long as
the said convictions
are accorded something
far less than
a supporting role
in their work.
Of course, using
political machinations
as a plot-vehicle
to illuminate
the timelessness
of ambition, deception,
playacting, networking,
revenge, cronyism,
delight in sowing
chaos -- where
the convictions
voiced by the
characters are
merely incidental
to the conflict
-- is a different
matter altogether,
as in the novels
of Stendhal, not
to mention The
Possessed
by Dostoevsky.
6)
Who are some of
the authors you
most admire?
Many
of the authors
that I publish
here and on Sliptongue.
Adelaide
Cummings' newest
release, Curtain
Call (as
well as her past
releases), is
formal poetry
at its best.
My
current nonfiction
fav is George
and Darril Fosty's
Black Ice:
The Lost History
of the Colored
Hockey League
of the Maritimes,
1895-1925.
7)
How familiar are
you with the literary
canon?
Some
people might say
the literary canon
is the primary
décor of
my apartment --
a couple walls
of books floor
to ceiling, stacks
on the furniture,
strays often lying
on the carpet.
Among my favs:
Cervantes, Boccaccio,
Lermontov, Stendhal,
Laclos, Martial,
Juvenal, Aristophanes,
Menander, Plautus,
Terence, Moliere,
Kleist, Holderlin,
Novalis, Hoffmann,
Fontane, Nietzsche,
Kierkegaard, Strindberg,
Ibsen, de Navarre,
de Sade, Flaubert,
Maupassant, Celine,
Marlowe, Rochester,
"Monk"
Lewis, Byron,
Mr. and Mrs. Shelly,
Coleridge, Stevenson,
Poe, Twain, Faulkner,
Tacitus, Suetonius,
Dio, Baudelaire,
Verlaine, Lautremont,
Rimbaud, Artaud,
Sappho, Ovid,
Propertius, Petronius,
The Arabian Nights.
Ancient Greek
and Roman/19th
century French/British
Restoration authors
in general. Comic
playwrights from
all periods and
countries.
8)
What are your
feelings about
formal vs. free
verse?
Poetry
is a formal discipline
that fraudulent
poseurs are seeking
to discredit via
the sham known
as "free
verse." Many
semi-literate
pop-culture-educated
hacks, for unknown
reasons, wish
to think of themselves
as "poets":
they proceed to
convince themselves
of such by churning
out formless,
incomprehensible,
self-referential
gibberish and
calling it "free
verse." Free
versers are inordinately
fond of deluding
themselves that
they're overthrowing
tradition: they
seem to feel muddled
nonsense is preferable
to disciplined
clarity.
9)
Do you feel "flash"
fiction (300 words
or less) is a
viable form, or
nothing more than
a writing exercise?
It's
a writing exercise,
useful in learning
the virtues of
succinctness of
expression. As
for it being a
viable form...
Basically, some
corner-cutting
smartass thought,
"Hey, why
waste these writing
exercises? Why
not doll them
up in fancy terminology
-- call them 'flash
fiction,' 'flashers,'
or 'impromptus'
-- and persuade
people they're
real stories?
That way, I'll
be able to churn
out three or four
or five of them
a night!"
Needless to say,
I neither read
nor publish writing
exercises.
Update
8/30/09: A
friend called
me up, laughing,
and informed me
that one mentally
deficient Sean
Aden Lovelace
has taken serious
umbrage to the
above paragraph,
and posted a semi-intelligible
rant on his blog.
Curiously, Sean
Aden Lovelace
begins his rant
by chiding my
use of first,
middle, and last
names as a published
author when he
does the very
same thing, having
published a 35-page
(oh, my!) book
and numerous so-called
stories under
the name of "Sean
Aden Lovelace."
My recommendation,
LovDunce: if you're
going to slam
someone for using
all three of their
names (and getting
riled about that
is pathetic enough),
then maybe you
ought to stop
doing so yourself.
Please look up
the word "consistency"
in a dictionary,
assuming you know
how to use one.
Which
brings me to the
second self-contradiction
at the beginning
of Sean Aden Lovelace's
mental-age-of-nine
rant. He writes
with scorn "And
he publishes himself
in his own magazine?"
as if such is
a heinous crime.
But then, lo and
behold, on the
Amazon page of
the above-mentioned
35-page book by
Sean Aden Lovelace,
there is one review:
written, of course,
by Sean Aden Lovelace
himself. The book
was published
in 2004 and in
all that time
LovDunce hasn't
even managed to
inspire anyone
to attack it,
much less praise
it: he has to
write the lone
review himself.
And he
chastises me for
publishing myself
in my own magazine?
Which brings me
to my second recommendation,
LovDunce: please
do some serious
perusal of current
literary magazines:
you will find
that dozens of
capable editors
publish themselves
in their own magazines.
After all, if
editors do not
believe in their
own magazines
enough to publish
themselves in
them, how can
they conscientiously
expect authors
to believe in
their magazines
as well? But Sean
Aden Lovelace
reviews his own
book on Amazon
(otherwise it
wouldn't have
a review at all),
so he is a very
conscientious
and reliable gentleman
who's in a very
good position
to judge others.
All
right, to the
matter: Sean Aden
Lovelace, I tossed
off my tongue-in-cheek
response to question
# 10 for the express
purpose of annoying
pretentious, untalented,
fraudulent, parasitical
nitwits like you.
You don't like
it? Oh, boo hoo
hoo! Where's your
Mommy when you
need her, right?
Actually, I'm
sure you live
with your Mommy
and that she frequently
locks you in the
closet for ingesting
horse manure,
as well as for
simply being the
insufferably boring
imbecile that
you are.
So
Sean Aden Lovelace
is upset. After
the self-contradictory
intro, he announces
the rant proper
with the megalomaniacal
"I’ll
just jot down
this epic poem
here" (Yeah
right, LovDunce:
your muddled self-contradictory
rubbish is an
epic poem: there
are people in
asylums who believe
they've composed
Beethoven's Ninth,
and I do believe
you'd be fit company
for them.) and
proceeds to indulge
in even more megalomania,
comparing his
writing to "parable,
fable, mythology,
psalm." Any
sane person knows,
LovDunce, that
there is no way
in hell that I
was casting aspersions
on parables, fables,
mythology, and
psalms -- which
(wake up, you
smug vainglorious
boob!) have absolutely
nothing to do
with the semi-literate
"flash"
fiction (I will
NOT torment the
reader by quoting
from one of your
laughably adolescent
scribblings.)
written by yourself.
Read question
# 10 above again,
moron: it addresses
"flash"
fiction only,
not parables,
fables, mythology,
and psalms. "Flash"
fiction is a very
recent term, dating
from 1992 -- again,
check it in a
dictionary, moron.
But
that's why you
launched your
rant in the first
place, right?
It's so you could
have an excuse
to soar to the
heights of delirious
delusion and compare
yourself to the
likes of Aesop,
Franz Kafka, and
Christ! (Yup,
people: he does!)
Sean Aden Lovelace:
why are you being
allowed to teach
at a university?
What member of
the Board of Directors
are you related
to, or blackmailing,
to keep that job?
You are obviously
as insane as you
are vain. Your
students have
my heartfelt sympathy.
Sean
Aden Lovelace
knows very little
about writing:
he lumps Sonnets
in with "flash"
fiction as well.
Please also look
up the word
"sonnet"
in a dictionary,
LovDunce, where
you will find
no mention of
a sonnet being
anything remotely
resembling "flash"
fiction. Oh, and
he also sarcastically
asks how I feel
about sonnets.
Well, let's see:
I've published
sonnets written
by some very accomplished
poets: HERE,
HERE,
and HERE.
Does that answer
your question,
LovDunce? Here's
an idea that's
obviously foreign
to you: seek to
grasp the concept
of getting your
facts straight
before slinging
accusations.
But
Sean Aden Lovelace
truly reveals
the leanings of
his frail mental
capacity when
he interrupts
his rant towards
the end to inform
us: "Well,
I just had some
kick ass nachos.
It felt good.
It didn’t
take long, they
are often listed
as appetizer…"
(My, oh, my: LovDunce
teaches at a university
and writes gradeschool
level prose. Again,
I pity his students,
as well as the
university itself.)
One last recommendation,
LovDunce: if you're
going to attempt
to persuade others
that you know
something about
writing
and
care about writing,
then leave off
with the dietary
information. No
one cares what
you stuffed your
gullet with. But
that's just the
thing: deluded
megalomaniacs
like Sean Aden
Lovelace think
the whole world
cares about every
little insignificant
thing they do.
Last
paragraph, Sean
Aden Lovelace:
I wrote "The
ShatterColors
Standard Interview"
for the express
purpose of having
different authors
provide contrasting
responses to a
few questions.
Authors of completely
different inclinations
have participated.
I have never expected,
or even wanted,
all of them to
agree with my
views; I have
only wished for
them to be themselves.
Believe it or
not, there are
authors who have
participated who
frequently write
modern "flash"
fiction, as well
as full out novels,
and I have the
greatest respect
for them. Nor
have they ever
held it against
me that I chose
to answer question
# 10 in a sassy
manner, since
they are bright
people who understand
what irony is.
But you didn't
bother to read
beyond your need
to advertise your
megalomania, did
you? In fact,
I'm sure you're
not capable of
doing so.
I
lied, Sean Aden
Lovelace: this
is the last paragraph.
Powers that be
at Ball State
University 2000
W. University
Ave. Muncie, IN:
you have a person
in your employ
who thinks nothing
of attacking people
on the Internet
without knowing
the first thing
about them, and
contradicting
and making a fool
of himself in
the process. Is
this really the
sort of person
you want teaching
the students of
your school? Is
this the sort
of person that
parents of students
had in mind when
they were setting
their hard earned
money aside to
provide their
children with
an education?
Must your students
(i.e.,
your customers)
settle for an
irresponsible
instructor who
unconscionably
attacks complete
strangers with
zero facts at
his disposal and
has no ability
to argue logically?
I am positive
that there are
far more worthy
candidates for
his position,
and that the parents
who are paying
the bills would
agree with me.
Update
to the above,
9/1/09:
So
I sent Sean Aden
Lovelace an email
this morning to
let him know I'd
responded to his
attack. I was
all set for another
round of thrash-for-kicks
(Yup, I love
invective.), when...
Suffice
to say we ended
up exchanging
a few affable
emails. By way
of winding this
up, here are the
last two:
I sent this:
Sean,
Yeah, it's really
all just a game
to me -- I write
fiction, my answers
to questions often
verge on it. I
like to scrap,
can't entirely
dislike someone
who provides me
with an occasion
for some fun.
Saw your latest
post -- thanks
for that, and
it's over as far
as I'm concerned.
And now I'll admit
that you've lead
me to reevaluate
whether I'm going
to deal with accepting
flash fiction
for Sliptongue
and ShatterColors
(when the latter
reopens). Always
felt it was too
much trouble to
make a separate
page for 300-500
words (that was
my real objection
to publishing
it), but I could
ask for sets of
3 to be published
together.
And as a fellow
fly fisherman
(when I'm in CO,
ID, or CA)...
Cast away!
Scott
He
responded with:
Scott:
Yeh,
it's cool, no
worries. I'm the
one who called
you a few names
first, and should
have focused on
flash fiction,
the genre only,
since I am a huge
advocate of what
I consider an
exciting and literary
form. I really
think you should
consider flashes,
but you are the
editor, naturally.
Anyway,
my bad and sorry
to offend.
Write
on. And fish on
(a form of writing,
or maybe reading?).
S
I
believe we've
both learned something;
for my part, I've
decided to accept
flash fiction
(I never hated
it, at most I
ignored it) on
Sliptongue beginning
next year. It
is a
popular and established
form, and I know
of at least one
writer I admire
and publish --
Barry
Baldwin --
who regularly
indulges in it.
Show's
over, people.
Live well, in
good health.
10)
When not editing,
what do you do
for amusement?
Write;
or sow chaos in
public places
with the assistance
of undisciplined
dogs (as described
HERE);
or toss the frisbee
in Central Park;
or attend baseball
games/peruse the
latest MLB news;
or go to hot yoga
class or aerial
yoga class or
Asphalt Green's
swimming pool;
or hang out in
Paris, San Francisco,
San Diego, San
Juan, Bermuda...
Downhill skiing,
surfing and boogie
boarding, fly
fishing, camping
above timberline
in the Sierras...
The list could
go on and on...
11)
What's one of
the most annoying
things you can
think of?
The
fact that the
average supermarket
in America is
at least 90% stocked
with nutritionally
deficient, artificially
processed, chemically-saturated
garbage masquerading
as human sustenance.
The fact that
there are vast
tracts of this
country (i.e.,
suburban wastelands)
where the only
available sources
of sustenance
are fast food
places and convenience
stores, where
it's not even
possible to purchase
pesticide-saturated
produce, much
less anything
that's certified
organic. The fact
that Shea and
Yankee Stadiums
1) won't allow
people to bring
their own beer,
and 2) sell watered
down dog-piss,
and tell people
it's beer.
12)
Briefly describe
what you consider
to be one of your
standout childhood
pranks.
Happened
upon some dead
cottonmouths (venomous
snakes native
to the SE U.S.)
at a fish hatchery
and made use of
the carcasses
to amaze and frighten
people. For a
lengthier description
click HERE.
13)
What are your
upcoming projects/works
in progress?
Am
currently doing
the final revisions
for a couple of
novels.
14)
Care to conclude
with a sweeping
philosophical
statement?
Fiction
writing is the
fine art of adopting
personalities
at will, and then
casting them off
-- of convincingly
playing parts,
masquerading:
never stoop to
the plebeian level
of actually believing
what you write.
And
don't forget to
now and then gaze
up at the stars
at night and dissolve
out from under
yourself at the
sight of the miracle
of the universe
and feel life’s
mysteries reverberate
in every sinew
of your body.
_______________
The
ShatterColors
Standard Interview
-- Editor Version
©
2006 by Robert
Scott Leyse
Robert
Scott Leyse Responses
© 2006 by
Robert Scott Leyse
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