Autem Bawlers
by
Barry Baldwin
Reviewing
According To Queeney
in the Times Literary
Supplement (7
September 2001),
Henry Hitchings
accuses Beryl
Bainbridge of
anachronism when
Henry Thrale cracks
a joke that depends
on the verb 'to
toss' also meaning
'to masturbate'.
Apropos current
revision of the
Oxford English
Dictionary (2nd
ed. 1989) in History
Today (vol.50,
no.4, April 2000),
Jane Griffiths
and Edmund Weiner
wax on how it
helps historians
and how historians
can help it: 'for
the historian,
it is the etymological
explanation and
the documentary
exemplification
in an OED entry
that makes it
so valuable.'
As Samuel Johnson
splendidly put
it in the preface
to his own Dictionary:
'I am not yet
so lost in lexicography
as to forget that
words are the
daughters of earth
and that things
are the sons of
heaven.' This
Johnsonianism
animates George
Steiner's (Errata)
'the dictionary
is a poet's breviary;
a grammar is his
missal, especially
when he departs
from it in heresy.'
Ambrose Bierce's
Enlarged Devil's
Dictionary was
inevitably less
enthusiastic:
'Dictionary: a
malevolent literary
device for cramping
the growth of
a language.' Notwithstanding
Johnson's famous
self-definition
(tongue partly
in cheek, surely)
of the lexicographer
as a 'harmless
judge', this breed
is nowadays accused
of having other
than verbal agenda.
According to J.
Willinksky's Empire
of Words: The
Reign of the Oxford
English Dictionary,
the OED 's 'unique
emphasis' on citations
from Shakespeare,
Milton, Chaucer,
and Bible translations
makes it 'elitist,
masculine, chauvinistic,
imperialist, and
insulting to minority
groups.' Jonathon
Green extends
this to a blanket-condemnation:
'the lexicographer
does not merely
record. He sets
the pace and,
by discreet choice
of sources and
skewed quotations
along with explicit
personal asides,
uses his work
to promote a programme,
be it political,
religious, social,
or the lot.'
In the case of
Hitchings v. Bainbridge,
a glance at the
OED is sufficient
to acquit her.
Had it not been,
the place to find
the vital evidence
on this and many
other matters
historical and
philological is
Grose's Classical
Dictionary of
the Vulgar Tongue
(1785; 3rd ed.
revised by himself
1796), the other
side of Johnson's
lexical coin.
To borrow from
the introduction
to Ogilvie's Imperial
Dictionary (1850),
'the charge usually
preferred against
English dictionaries,
namely that they
furnish but a
dry sort of reading,
will not apply
to this one.'
Although in its
own bibliography,
the OED sometimes
oddly forgets
this work. Its
entry for CONDOM
(first used in
1706) reads: 'origin
unknown. No 18th
Century physician
named Cundum or
Conton has been
found though a
doctor so named
is often said
to be the inventor
of the sheath.'
This neglects
Grose's gloss,
'said to have
been invented
by one Colonel
Cundum,' apparently
a Guards' colonel
whose re-invention
(the Romans were
there first) was
for the use of
the Merry Monarch
Charles II. Francis
Grose (c.1731-12
May 1791 - he
choked to death
at dinner in Dublin)
was well placed
to be a connoisseur
of coprolalia
and other colloquialisms:
friend of Robbie
Burns, a military
officer, and (so
his 19th Century
memorialist John
Camden Hotten
records) 'the
greatest joker
and porter-drinker
of his day,' especially
visible in the
Holborn King's
Arms and Leicester
Square Feathers
Tavern, also in
nocturnal low-life
slumming. Rather
than bounce from
topic to topic
- my original
scheme - I decided
to stay with one.
Sex was (of course)
a temptation,
but I am writing
about that elsewhere
(in the magazine
Verbatim), and
anyway there is
no shortage of
it in the area
I settled on -
Religion. Here,
Grose has something
to offend just
about everyone
and, while providing
a bean-feast for
historians and
philologists,
adds a useful
overall gloss
to this remark
in the Penguin
Dictionary of
Eighteenth-Century
History (which
leaves him and
his book out):
'certainly, in
this period, the
behaviour of the
populace, the
growth of urban
centres and the
spread of alehouses
called for renewed
clerical efforts
to reform the
aspects of popular
culture that appeared
to impede the
spread of more
godly living,'
whilst backing
up its 'religious
toleration was
far from a universal
18th-Century tendency.'
In what follows,
all quoted definitions
are Grose's own.
Before settling
down to my religious
muttons, though,
I will (being
like Oscar Wilde
able to resist
everything except
temptation) not
blush to add this
Grose item to
Griffith-Weiner's
demonstration
of how historians
are amplifying
the story of technology:
'CRINKUM CRANKUM.
A woman's commodity
(sc. vagina -BB).
See Spectator.'
This jolly word
actually stood
for any mechanical
toy or device.
All this information
was ignored in
Ivor Brown's essay
on the term in
his Chosen Words
(1955). It adds
instructive spice
to The Clockmakers'
Outcry Against
the Author of
The Life and Opinions
of Tristram Shandy,
a 1760 anonymous
(possibly by Sterne
himself as a gimmick
to promote sales)
pamphlet which
bemoans the collapse
of clockmaking
thanks to the
novel's connecting
the winding of
a clock with 'some
other little family
concernments.
No modest lady
now dares to mention
a word about winding-up
a clock. Nay,
the common expression
of street-walkers
is, Sir, will
you have your
clock wound up?'
Working from the
outsiders in,
we start with
the Jews. Despite
the view of (e.g.)
Peter Womack,
Improvement and
Romance: Constructing
the Myth of the
Highlands (1990)
that there was
little anti-semitic
content in 18th
Century English
because the Scotch
were a more obvious
target, Jews continued
to suffer from
traditional Christian
antipathy and
gentile jealousy
of their business
acumen. As Lisa
Picard puts it,
'objections to
the 1753 naturalization
bill were not
on religious grounds.
but because the
City merchants
feared they might
be outsmarted
by Jewish competitors
if the disadvantage
of alien nationality
were removed.'
Though not admitting
the verb, Grose's
definition of
the noun JEW (his
LEVITE is more
generally contemptuous
of priests and
parsons of all
denominations)
is blatant: 'an
over-reaching
dealer, or hard,
sharp, fellow;
an extortioner;
the brokers behind
St Clement's Church
in the Strand
were formerly
called Jews by
their brethren
the taylors.'
The latter acquired
their bad reputation
from substituting
cheap fabric for
the expensive
stuff supplied
to them to make
up and selling
the good on the
side, a practice
defined by Grose
(also by Johnson)
as CABBAGING.
The topographical
precision is notable,
being repeated
in the definition
of DUFFERS - Arthur
Dailey spiv types
who sold local
Spitalfields goods
at inflated prices
claiming they
were expensive
smuggled items.
Another sly activity
graphically stigmatised
was QUEER BAIL:
'insolvent sharpers,
who make a profession
of bailing persons
arrested: generally
styled Jew bail,
from that branch
of business being
chiefly carried
on by the sons
of Judah. The
lowest sort of
these, who borrow
or hire clothes
to appear in,
are called Mounters,
from their mounting
particular dresses
suitable to the
occasion.' Such
detail adds point
to the 'rascally
Jew-looking man
that plied at
the Wells with
a box of spectacles'
in Smollett's
Humphry Clinker.
Two further rubrics
accuse them of
outright criminality:
READER MERCHANT:
'pickpockets,
chiefly young
Jews, who ply
about the Bank
to steal the pocket-books
of persons who
have just received
their dividends
there' - nowadays
they would be
said to hang around
bank machines;
SWEATING; 'a mode
of diminishing
the gold coin,
practised chiefly
by Jews, who corrode
it with aqua regia.'
A continental
influence shows
up in Dutch SMOUS
('a German Jew')
and in SWINDLER,
said by Ernest
Weekley, An Etymological
Dictionary of
Modern English
(1921), to be
'picked up in
1762 from German
Jews in London.'
Jews were also
called PORKERS
- did this at
all influence
the Cockney rhyming
slang Pork Pies/Lies/Telling
Porkies? Jokes
on Jews and pork
went back a long
way, e.g. there's
one in the anonymous
12th Century Byzantine
satire Timarion.
Johnson exploited
a polite version
to make a debating
point: 'you put
me in mind of
Dr Barrowby, who
was very fond
of swine's flesh.
One day, when
he was eating
it, he said, I
wish I were a
Jew. - Why so?
Because (said
he) I should then
have the gust
of eating it,
with the pleasure
of sinning.'
By way of dark
modernity, the
second definition
of JEW in George
Babiniotis' Dictionary
of the Greek Language
reads 'a person
who minds above
all his own interests
- stingy, avaricious.'
Though unoffended
by this, an Athenian
judge in 1998
ordered the dictionary
be withdrawn until
its second definition
of BULGARIAN as
'pejorative and
insulting - applied
to sports fan
or player from
Thessaloniki'
was expunged.
Roman Catholics
were also outsiders.
Such factors as
the 1701 Act of
Succession and
the various civic
and politicial
advantages under
which they laboured
are too familiar
to rehearse here.
Matters were exacerbated
in the late 18th
Century by the
Gordon Riots (1780)
and Ireland: as
the Penguin Dictionary
puts it, 'the
Catholic question
became the Irish
question.'
Prejudice operated
at different levels.
Lord Chesterfield
might joke to
an English Jesuit,
'it is to no purpose
for you to aspire
to the honour
of martyrdom;
fire and faggot
are quite out
of fashion,' but
as late as 1874
the Times could
editorialise over
news of the conversion
of Lord Ripon
thus: 'a statesman
who becomes a
convert to Roman
Catholicism forfeits
at once the confidence
of the English
People. Such a
move can only
be regarded as
betraying an irreparable
weakness of character.'
Samuel Johnson's
Jack Sneaker personified
such stuff in
his essay (Idler
10, 17 June 1758)
on political credulity:
'poor Jack is
hourly disturbed
by the dread of
Popery. He wonders
that some stricter
laws are not made
against Papists,
and is sometimes
afriad that they
are busy with
French gold among
the bishops and
judges...He is
zealous for the
naturalization
of foreign Protestants,
and rejoiced at
the admission
of the Jews to
the English privileges,
because he thought
a Jew would never
be a Papist.'
Grose's words
and phrases poke
fun at particular
aspects of alleged
Catholic behaviour
rather than indulge
in blanket theological
condemnation.
No less than three
separate terms
(BREAST FLEET,
BRISKET BEATER,
CRAW THUMPER)
allude to their
beating of breasts
when confessing
their sins. Church
Latin produced
'a celebrated
writer's' - Grose
gives no name
- explanation
of HOCUS-POCUS
as 'a ludicrous
corruption of
hoc est corpus,
used by the popish
priests in consecrating
the host.' Grose,
though, did not
see this as the
source of ALL
MY EYE AND BETTY
MARTIN, unlike
Hotten, whose
own slang dictionary
(1859) elucidates
it as 'a vulgar
phrase constructed
from the commencement
of a Roman Catholic
prayer to St Martin,
O, mihi, beate
Martine - Eric
Partridge and
other modern philologists
dismiss this as
too ingeniously
complicated.
Both converts
and converters
suffer from POT
CONVERTS: 'proselytes
to the Romish
church, made by
the distribution
of victuals and
money.' Johnson
put a variant
spin on this:
'a man who is
converted from
Protestantism
to Popery may
be sincere: he
parts with nothing:
he is only superadding
to what he already
had.' A tendency
to drink is suggested
by BUMPER: 'a
full glass. Some
derive it from
a full glass formerly
drunk to the health
of the pope -
au bon père.
POPE'S NOSE ('the
rump of a turkey'),
still common in
parts of North
America, is tendentious
in that it omits
the interchangeable
variant Parson's
Nose. The Irish
element operated
at two different
levels: HOLY FATHER
(cf. ODDS PLUT
AND HER NAILS
for a Welsh equivalent):
'a butcher's boy
of St Patrick's
Market, Dublin,
or other Irish
blackguard; among
whom the exclamation,
or oath, By The
Holy Father (meaning
the Pope) is common;'
Irish Presbyterians
on the other hand
would intone the
expletive SORROW
SHALL BE HIS SLOPS;
IRISH LEGS: 'thick
legs, jocularly
styled the Irish
arms. It is said
of the Irish women,
that they have
a dispensation
from the Pope
to wear the thick
end of their legs
downwards.' This
latter need not
be taken very
seriously. 'Irish'
had been a common
derogatory prefix
to pretty well
anything you liked
since the late
17th Century,
often prefiguring
the contents of
(say) Larry Wilde's
Last Official
Irish Jokebook
(1983), e.g. Grose's
IRISH BEAUTY:
'a woman with
two black eyes.'
Many
were sexual, e.g.
IRISH FORTUNE
(pudendum), likewise
the more versatile
TIPPERARY FORTUNE
(pudendum, fundament,
breasts), also
IRISH ROOT (penis)
and IRISH WHIST
(intercourse).
Grose's liveliest
contribution to
this erotic repertoire
(not, as shall
be seen, restricted
to Roman Catholics)
is TO BOX THE
JESUIT: 'a sea
term for masturbation;
a crime, it is
said, much practised
by the reverend
fathers of that
society.'
In
a note on Boswell's
Life 3, 429, Giuseppe
Baretti fulminated
apropos the Gordon
Riots, 'so illiberal
was Johnson made
by religion that
he calls here
the chapel a mass-house...He
hated the Presbyterians.
That was a nasty
blot in his character.'
Actually, the
Italian is demonstrating
his own ignorance
of English vernacular:
in Grose, MESS
JOHN is a collateral
term for Scottish
Presbyterians,
while STEEPLE
HOUSE was applied
to the Anglican
Church by Dissenters
(their meeting
places and preachers
being in turn
SCHISM SHOPS and
SCHISM MONGERS)
and (in West Yorkshire)
to Quakers. Likewise,
CROP, and old
term of reference
to Roundhead close
tonsures, was
re-applied to
Presbyterians,
while CHOP CHURCHES
('simoniacal dealers
in livings, or
other ecclesiastical
preferments')
knew no sectarian
bounds.
Did Baretti know
the PANTILE SHOP
('a Presbyterian,
or other dissenting
meeting-house,
frequently covered
in pantiles; called
also a cockpit')?
Or the CALVES
HEAD CLUB: 'a
club instituted
by the Independents
and Presbyterians,
to commemorate
the decapitation
of King Charles
I. Their chief
fare was calves
heads; and they
drank their wine
and ale out of
calves skulls.'
King Charles,
we may subjoin,
fared linguistically
better than his
adversary Cromwell
- OLIVER'S SCULL
denoted a chamber-pot.
Grose's definition
of QUAKER, 'a
religious sect;
so called from
their agitations
in preaching,'
would not have
sat well with
the Society of
Friends, which
disdained the
very nickname.
Nor the cognate
AUTEM QUAVER -
AUTEM, meaning
'church', features
in several such
diversely targeted
compounds: AUTEM
BAWLER ('a parson');
AUTEM CACKLERS
and PRICKEARS
('Dissenters of
every denomination');
AUTEM CACKLE TUB
('a conventicle
or meeting-house
for Dissenters');
AUTEM DIPPERS
('pickpockets
who practise in
churches; also
churchwardens
and overseers
of the poor').
The strange-looking
AMINIDAB, 'a jeering
name for a Quaker,'
not in the OED,
might mean Dab-hands
(DAB in Grose
means 'an adept')
at saying Amen.
Grose's subordinate
WET QUAKER ('one
of that sect who
has no objection
to the spirit
derived from wine')
may reflect a
particular case
of some bibulous
Friend or a vulgar
extension of comments
voiced in more
respectable quarters,
e.g. the Gentleman's
Magazine, about
Quaker refusals
to cease trading
in periods of
royal mourning.
Denoting Methodists
as belonging to
the NEW LIGHT
looks complimentary
in print, but
could of course
be sarcastically
voiced, and the
phrase occurs
several times
in Smollett's
account of Humphry
Clinker's comic
flirtations with
that sect. A particular
branch of South
Wales Anabaptists
suffers from burglarious
reputation under
the word JUMPERS,
while Anabaptists
are unambiguously
branded as pickpockets
under their own
entry and that
for DIPPERS. I
can add that in
rural North America
the Anabaptist-descended
Hutterites still
suffer from unfair
prejudice from
their diversely
different Christian
neighbours. Defining
a Non-Conformist
as SHIT SACK looks
a good deal less
than kind, but
Grose's exegetic
anecdote (far
too long to quote)
is perhaps more
sympathetic than
cruel, its butt
being the preacher
who befouls himself
in terror at a
musical blast
mistaken by himself
and his congregation
as The Last Trump.
Grose immortalises
various individuals.
In the Methodist
case, not John
Wesley but George
Whitfield (1714-1770,
under the odd
spelling WHITFIELITE),
to whose éclat
Johnson grudgingly
attests: 'his
popularity is
chiefly owing
to the peculiarity
of his manner.
He would be followed
by crowds were
he to wear a night-cap
in the pulpit,
or were he to
preach from a
tree.'
Grose's entry
for CANTING discloses
a contemporary
etymological squabble:
'preaching with
a whining, affected
tone, perhaps
a corruption of
chaunting; some
derive it from
Andrew Cant, a
famous Scotch
preacher, who
used that whining
manner of expression.'
According to Weekley,
the usage long
predated this
fellow; Grose's
wording is reminiscent
of Johnson's third
definition of
CANT in his Dictionary:
'a whining pretension
to goodness, in
formal and affected
terms.' Smollett
also made the
Caledonian connection
in Humphry Clinker:
'the kirk of Scotland,
so long reproached
with fanaticism
and canting.'
PARSON PALMER:
'a jocular name,
or term of reproach,
to one who stops
the circulation
of the glass by
preaching over
his liquor; as
it is said was
done by a parson
of that name whose
cellar was under
his pulpit.' Yet
another hit at
the bibulous clergy.
If Parson Palmer
belonged to the
18th Century,
he might be found
in one of the
two divines of
that name in Boswell's
Life (the Oxford
Dictionary of
the Christian
Church has no
pre-Victorian
homonyms), namely
the Reverend Thomas
Fsyche Palmer
(1747-1802), a
Unitarian minister
eventually transported
to New South wales
for sedition -
his Scotch connections
would help along
any English canard.
Of course, it
might not be a
proper name at
all, but an expression
analogous to Mr
Palmer = one who
palms a bribe.
Hard to say who
has the darker
etymological fate,
Dr Lob or Dr Sacheverel.
LOB's POUND: 'a
prison. Doctor
Lob, a dissenting
preacher, who
used to hold forth
when conventicles
were prohibitedm
and had made himself
a retreat by means
of a trap-door
at the bottom
of his pulpit.
Once being pursued
by the officers
of justice, they
followed him through
divers subterraneous
passages, till
they got into
a dark cell, from
whence they could
not find their
way out, but calling
to some of their
companions, swore
they had got into
Lob's Pound.'
Just to rub it
in, this dungeon-drear
term also became
slang for vagina.
SACHEVEREL: 'the
iron door, or
blower, to the
mouth of a stove:
from a divine
of that name,
who made himself
famous for blowing
the coals of dissention
in the latter
end of the reign
of Queen Ann.'
This was Henry
Sacheverell (1674-1724),
whose fiery High
Church oratory
earned him impeachment
and a three-year
ban on preaching
in 1709; as a
toddler, Samuel
Johnson had been
taken by his father
to hear him in
Lichfield. But
there was worse
in store for the
booming cleric:
'PISS POT HALL.
A house at Clopton,
near Hackney,
built by a potter
chiefly out of
the profit of
chamber-pots,
in the bottom
of which the portrait
of Dr Sacheverel
was depicted.'
A mixed bag of
both general and
particular sexually-charged
expressions serves
as nice transition
to the Anglican
Church. An ABBESS
is a brothel keeper;
abbots too, in
other such dictionaries.
NUNNERY retained
its Elizabethan
sense of bawdy-house;
so, I should add,
less secular professors
snigger, did ACADEMY.
The curious and
obscure NOSE GENT
denoted a nun.
Eric Partridge
connected it with
Nazy-Nab = drunken
coxcombe, but
I fancy we need
something more
sexual, and the
term may well
suggest a whore
good at sniffing
out customers;
Grose has many
colloquial examples
of NOSE as noun
and verb, along
with his EVE'S
CUSTOM HOUSE ('where
Adam made his
first entry',
i.e. vagina) and
FAMILY OF LOVE
('lewd women;
also a religious
sect'). This whole
equation of religion
and sex, of course,
serves a long-standing
pornographic fantasy,
evidenced in the
anonymous novel,
whether it be
genuinely 18th
Century or modern
fake, Autobiography
of a Flea. Grose's
MONKS AND FRIARS
(printing terms
for black and
white) rather
let down the erotic
side. Still, we
can harken back
to James le Palmer's
marginalia to
his 14th Century
Omne Bonum encyclical:
'note, you mendicant
friar-sycophants,
daily consorting
with women, how
gravely you sin
by such scandalous
behaviour.'
Many a man will
have yearned to
encounter an ATHANASIAN
WENCH or QUICUNQUE
VULT ('a forward
girl, ready to
oblige every man
that shall ask
her') with her
democratic MOUSETRAP
(vagina), but
not the PARSON'S
MOUSETRAP ('the
state of matrimony')
variety. In one
way, her best
bet would be the
parson himself,
in another not
so, since when
defining the melancholy
GIB CAT, Grose
quotes an anonymous
gloss on the proverb
omne animal posst
coitum triste
est - preter gallum
et sacerdotem
gratis fornicantem
(except a cockerel
and a priest fucking
for free). Perhaps
their coupling
would be in the
style of RIDING
ST GEORGE: 'the
woman uppermost
in the amorous
congress; that
is, the dragon
upon Sr George.
This is said to
be the way to
get a bishop.'
Apart from being
'a mixture of
wine and water,
into which is
put a roasted
orange,' - Johnson
maintained 'a
bishop has nothing
to do a a tippling-house'
- a BISHOP ws
also 'one of the
largest of Mrs
Philip's purses,
used to contain
the others,' this
lady having (how?)
the monopoly on
contraceptive
sales to the likes
of Boswell from
her premises at
the Green Canister,
Half-Moon Street,
the Strand. There
might be some
badinage between
girl and ecclesiastic
on the two meanings
of CAULIFLOWER,
'a large white
wig, such as is
commonly worn
by the dignified
clergy,' and 'the
private parts
of a woman.' for
which Grose had
numerous terms,
including the
basic (as he printed
it) C**T. A shame
Grose did not
live to hear of
the scene in a
John Keats letter
of 5 January 1818
in which 'two
parsons and grammarians
were sitting together
and settling the
derivation of
the word C-T.'
CODS, the scrotum,
was 'a nickname
for a curate:
a rude fellow
meeting a curate,
mistook him for
the rector, and
accosted him with
the vulgar appellation
of Bollocks the
Rector. No, Sir,
answered he, only
Cods the Curate
at your service.'
Lawrence Sterne
(Grose reports
the view that
C**T was the implied
last word of The
Sentimental Journey)
would have appreciated
this more than
Mr Collins in
Pride and Prejudice
- did Jane Austen
know such vocabulary,
possibly from
her naval brothers?
Quite Hogarthian,
appropriately
so, given The
Sleeping Congregation,
his trenchant
pictorial comment
(1736, reissued
1762) on (in Picard's
words) the chasm
between the Anglican
Church and the
people. Despite
its attempts to
modify the picture,
the attitudes
captured by Grose
support the admission
of the Penguin
Dictionary that
the period 1689-1833
'has been castigated
as the bleakest
era in the history
of the Church
of England.' Protestations
of clerical poverty,
a subject which
much exercised
that loyal Anglican
Samuel Johnson,
who lectured Boswell
on it with such
examples as 'a
clergyman of small
income who brought
up a family very
reputably, which
he fed chiefly
with apple dumplins,'
cut little ice
with the laity,
the (Picard again)
teeming poor outside
the church door
- they would also
have tittered
at Johnson's anecdote,
APPLE DUMPLIN
being slang for
the female bosom.
Institutional
corruption was
caught by the
term CHOP HOUSES,
'simoniacal dealers
in livings, or
other ecclesiastical
preferments.'
The grasping clerical
was immortalised
as a TURN-PIKE
MAN ('a parson;
because the clergy
collect their
tolls at our entrance
in and exit from
the world' - a
cynical variant
on the Christian
cliché
'Naked I came,
naked shall I
leave') for his
tithes (Mr Collins
writes in Pride
and Prejudice
that 'the rector
of a parish must
in the first place
make such an agreement
for tythes as
may be beneficial
to himself'),
also as a ONE-IN-TEN,
along with sardonic
compliments to
their PRIEST CRAFT
('the art of awing
the laity, managing
their consciences
and diving into
their pockets')
and the parson's
BARN ('never so
full but there
is still room
for more'). A
similar spirit
animates Grose's
definition of
CHURCH WARDEN
('a Sussex name
for a shag, or
cormorant, probably
from its voracity'),
while lack of
faith in the Church's
long-term benefits
is manifest in
CHURCH WORK -
'said of any work
that advances
slowly.' Smollett's
Humphry Clinker
grumbled at the
high rate of regular
turnpike tax.
Those who evaded
their tithes were
said TO PINCH
ON THE PARSON'S
SIDE. Few apparently
did elude the
BLACK FLY, 'the
greatest drawback
on the farmer,
i.e. the parson
who takes tithe
of the harvest.'
Meanwhile, their
City counterparts
would be lamenting
the cupidity of
the SPIRITUAL
FLESH BROKER,
with broad agreement
on the hypocrisy
of the FINGER
POST: 'a parson,
so called because
he points out
a way to others,
which he never
goes himself.'
Clerical venality
is colourfully
skewered by the
definition of
PATRICO/PATER
COVE: 'the fifteenth
rank of the canting
tribe; strolling
priests that marry
people under a
hedge without
gospel or common
prayer book; also
any minister or
parson.' This
type approximates
to the activities
of a HEDGE WHORE,
'an itinerant
harlot who bilks
the bagnios and
bawdy-houses by
disposing of her
favours on the
wayside,' following
directly after
HEDGE PRIEST,
'an illiterate
unbeneficed curate,
a patrico.' The
latter was also
known as a PUZZLE-TEXT.
Sacerdotal stupidity
was more than
a joke. Johnson
was so vexed by
a young clergyman's
nescience that
he complained,
'his ignorance
is so great, I
am afraid to show
him the bottom
of it.'
Men of the cloth
also suffered
in popular parlance
for their forbidding
uniform. A visitation
from the clergy
was known as CROW
FAIR or REVIEW
OF THE BLACK CUIRASSIERS,
though the latter
looks more literary
than everyday.
A parson was also
a PUDDING SLEEVES,
no doubt an intellectual
as well as a sartorial
slight, given
Grose's PUDDING-HEADED
FELLOW for an
ignoramus. Another
dress term for
parson was MR
PRUNELLA, their
gowns 'being frequently
made of this fabric.'
Likewise, japan,
a black cloth,
produced the verb
JAPANNED ('to
be ordained').
A more obscure
classification
- or am I just
being a puzzle-text?
- is SHOD-ALL-ROUND:
'a parson who
attends a funeral
is said to be
shod all round,
when he receives
a hat-band, gloves,
and scarf; many
shoeings being
only partial.'
The 18th Century
shared the universal
lay antipathy
to LONG-WINDED
sermons, especially
in the London
conditions complained
of in a letter
to the Gentleman's
Magazine for September
1756: 'it were
much to be wished
that in the churches
of this populous
city there were
some place set
aside for the
reception of the
common people
who at present
are obliged to
stand in the aisles.'
- the contemporary
Church of England,
given its laments
over declining
congregations,
might be glad
of this problem
along with Grose's
HUMS ('persons
at church; there
is a great congregation').
Preachers with
a Fidel Castro-like
pulmonary power
were known as
CUSHION THUMPERS,
TUB THUMPERS,
and SPOIL PUDDINGS,
their pulpits
being dubbed CLACK
LOFTS, HUM BOXES,
and PRATTLING
BOXES. On the
other hand, those
divines who hastened
over their services
were branded as
CHOP AND CHANGERS
and POSTILLIONS
OF THE GOSPEL.
All this rather
undermines Johnson's
contention that
congregations
preferred sermons
to prayers, 'it
being much easier
for them to hear
a sermon than
to fix their minds
on prayer,' albeit
Grose's RELIGIOUS
HORSE ('one much
given to prayer,
or apt to be down
on his knees')
points to exceptions.
As a sermoniser
himself, Johnson
was not disinterested.
In Boswell's Life
(3. 247-8), he
passes contemporary
preachers under
review, though
not his friend
Dr James Fordyce,
whose sermons
Mr Collins so
ostentatiously
preferred to modern
novels, finding
'one addressed
to the passions
that are good
for anything,'
perhaps alluding
to those individuals
described by Humphry
Clinker as 'Christians
of bowels.'
The Penguin Dictionary
pronounces that
Anticlericalism
'while it did
not necessarily
imply hostility
to religion itself,
involved antipathy
towards its professional
votaries, their
supposed wealth
and their influence
over the population
via education
and the rites
of passage.' Grose
for his part is
a model of concise
condemnation:
'CAUTIONS. I.
Beware of a woman
before; II. Beware
of a horse behind;
III. Beware of
a cart sideways;
IV. Beware of
a priest every
way.'
APPENDIX
Though not written
in Grose's kind
of English, a
poem entitled
The Fanatic Preacher,
published by 'JA'
in the Gentleman's
Magazine (vol.
9, August 1739,
p.436), provides
its own pointed
comment on some
of the above:
The rostrum grave
he mounts, and
scours his throat,
His pipes to clear,
and thrill a louder
note.
Down go the gloves,
and upwards to
the skies
His lifted hands
ascend, and whites
of eyes.
His holy eyelids
clos'd, his heaving
breast
Groans deep, and
murmurs bellow
from his chest.
Out breaks - a
word - and then
another flies,
With decent pause
between and mingled
sighs.
Now recollected
he improves his
rage
To lash emphatical
a guity age.
He starts, he
bounds, on tip-toe
mounts to feel
What strength
of lungs will
bear and ribs
of steel.
Of sweat a deluge
trickles from
his pores,
When loud as Stentor,
or as Mars, he
roars;
The pale-fac'd
audience faint
with threaten'd
doom,
And a fanatic
tempest sways
the room.
FOR FURTHER
READING
Francis Grose,
Captain, A Classical
Dictionary of
the Vulgar Tongue
(London, 1785;
3rd ed. 1796 edited
by Eric Partridge,
Routledge &
Kegan Paul, 1931);
Jeremy Black &
Roy Porter (edds.),
The Penguin Dictionary
of Eighteenth-Century
History (Harmondsworth,
1996); Jonathon
Green, Chasing
the Sun: Dictionary
Makers and the
Dictionaries They
Made (Cassell's,
London, 1996);
J.S. Farmer &
W.E. Henley, Slang
and its Analogues
(1890-1904; repr.
Past & Present,
Universal Books,
New York, 1966);
Lisa Picard, Dr
Johnson's London
(Weidenfeld &
Nicholson, London,
2000); E.A. Reitan,
The Best of the
Gentleman's Magazine
(Edward Mellen
Press, Lewiston/Queenston,
1987); J. Willinsky,
Empire of Words:
the Reign of the
Oxford English
Dictionary (Princeton
University Press,
1994)
©
2007 by Barry
Baldwin
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